The Mayor of the Town of Carmel Valley is pleased to announce the establishment of the Town of Carmel Valley Petting and Fishing Zoo©. The Mayor: "The location is just after the Cowboy and Indians Casino on Carmel Valley Road. Admission is ten dollars for adults and fifteen dollars for children under 21. There will be two animals available to pet or hook, the endangered red legged native frog and the endangered Carmel River Striped Trout. Both species are expected to become extinct within a few years because of encroachment on their native habitat in Oregon. A breeding program at the Petting and Fishing Zoo© is expected to become active as soon as funds are made available and suitable mates can be found. Visitors are encouraged to bring food for the animals. They will eat just about anything."
The Mayor of the Town of Carmel Valley is pleased to announce the establishment of the latest branch of the Church of California. The Mayor: "The CofC has four hundred branches throughout the United States and it is indeed an honor to have the Church choose our humble Town to spread the Word; in this case, that we are all sinners and destined to swim in a burning lake of lava forever unless we repent...at the Church of California branch 401 now being established by the remodel of the old Tularcitos Pre School buildings. God Bless and Amen."
News Thursday, August 27, 2009 Press Release:
The Mayor of the Town of Carmel Valley would like to respond to the events of the past weekend in which mass demonstrations were held in front of Town Hall to protest the high cost of housing, food, and transportation. Fortunately no one was injured when the Fire Department turned on the hoses and sprayed the overheated demonstrators down into calmness. The Fire Chief assures those soaked that the foam is a biodegradable fire retardant only dyed green to blend in with the local landscapes and will wear off eventually as the outer layer of skin peels off naturally.
Regarding the protesters’ concern about the high cost of transportation and demand for affordable Porsches: The Mayor: "Yes, it is a social crime that a new Carrera costs over 100,000 dollars. Transportation in a well maintained and newish car is a human right. The Town of Carmel Valley is in the process of establishing a transportation trust fund for those badly needed landscapers and brush cleaners who can not get into the Town to work. We understand the reluctance of those workers to buy and drive old clunkers such as 1989 Honda Civics and Toyota Tercels.
Regarding the protesters’ concern about the high cost of food and demand for affordable prime rib: Yes, it is a social crime that a pint of caviar costs over 200 dollars. Clean and good tasting food is a human right. The Town of Carmel Valley is in the process of establishing a food trust fund for those badly needed hard working employees of local businesses who need nutritious food to do a hard days work for a decent wage. We understand the reluctance of those workers to buy and eat white bread and peanut butter instead.
Regarding the protesters' concern about the high cost of housing and demand for an affordable single unit three bedroom, two bathroom detached houses with garage and view: Yes, it is a social crime that a single unit house with garage and view costs over 500,000 dollars. Housing in a safe well maintained comfortable spacious dwelling is a human right. The Town of Carmel Valley is in the process of establishing a housing trust fund for those workers who keep the economy going and want to live in an area of safety, clean air, water, and gorgeous views. We understand the reluctance of those workers to rent a two bedroom, one bath house with no garage or view.
I feel the pain of the protesters and I'm doing what I can to ease it. There is a budget crunch right now as the projected budget deficit appears to be huge, even unmanageable; therefore, everyone is going to have to tighten their belts and make sacrifices but as soon as the money becomes available, the three trust funds will be established and eligibility requirements will be determined as well as the priority of those applying. Proof of residency, citizenship, credit record, driver's license, medical checkup report, and education degrees will be required of course."
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News Thursday, August 27, 2009 Press Release:
The Mayor of the Town of Carmel Valley is pleased to announce that the meandering Carmel River will be straightened out. The Mayor: "The jet ski boats are smashing up on the opposite shore, scaring off the tourists and wiping out the boats. The boats and the tourists will become extinct should the situation be allowed to remain. Bulldozers will complete the straightening task soon and there will be a nice straight long stretch allowing the boats to reach the high speeds the tourists demand. The endangered red legged native frog and the endangered Carmel River Striped Trout may be viewed at the soon to open Town of Carmel Valley Petting Zoo©."
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News Thursday, August 27, 2009 Press Release:
The Mayor of the Town of Carmel Valley is pleased to announce the completion of the Carmel Valley Trans Valley Cable Gondola System (pat.pend.) The Mayor: "The system transports tourists from the top of Snively Ridge, across the scenic valley, to the other side near September Ranch. Access to the entry points is via rented all terrain vehicles (ATV) through Garland Ranch Preserve Park/Casino. Fees have yet to be established. Each cable car is diesel powered and will hold up to twenty five visitors with the trip taking about five minutes. The venture will bring in needed revenue to offset the projected budget deficit and will add about six jobs, it is hoped.
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News Thursday, August 27, 2009 Press Release:
The Mayor of the Town of Carmel Valley is pleased to announce the purchase by the Town of the Dusseldorf Heavy Water Production Facility in Dusseldorf, Republic of Germany, for an undisclosed amount. The Mayor: "The purchase of the heavy water facility will help alleviate the chronic water shortages the Town of Carmel Valley faces every year during the dry season. Since the water is heavy, more water can be acquired for the same amount of money when it is shipped by tanker across the Atlantic Ocean, through the Panama Canal and up the Pacific Ocean."
The Dusseldorf Heavy Water Production Facility was created after WW II and the unfortunate events near Rjukan in the Telemark region.
Heavy water is dideuterium oxide, or D2O or 2H2O. It is chemically the same as normal water, H2O, but the hydrogen atoms are of the heavy isotope deuterium, in which the nucleus contains a neutron in addition to the proton found in the nucleus of any hydrogen atom. Gilbert Newton Lewis isolated the first sample of pure heavy water in 1933.
Semiheavy water, HDO, also exists, although not in pure form: a sample of water of average composition HDO actually contains 50 percent HDO and 25 percent each H2O and D2O.
In 1934, Norsk Hydro built the first commercial heavy water plant with a capacity of 12 tonnes per year at Vemork. During World War II, the allies decided to destroy the plant and its heavy water in order to inhibit the German development of nuclear weapons. In late 1942, a raid by British paratroopers failed when the gliders crashed. All the raiders were killed in the crash or shot by the Germans. In February 1943, a group of 12 Norwegian infiltrators, trained in Britain by the Special Operations Executive and dropped by parachute into Norway, managed to disrupt production for two months by dynamiting the facilities. On November 16, 1943, the allied air forces dropped over 400 bombs on the site.
The allied air raid prompted the German government to move all available heavy water to Germany for safekeeping. However, on February 20 1944, a Norwegian partisan was able to sink the ferry carrying the heavy water across Lake Tinnsjoe at the cost of 14 Norwegian civilians.
The story was used for a 1965 Hollywood movie, The Heroes of Telemark, starring Kirk Douglas.
n World War II, Nazi Germany investigated the possibility of building an atomic bomb. As with all nuclear weapon development, the main problem was securing enough "weapons grade" material, particular isotopes of either uranium or plutonium. In order to produce these materials, found only in tiny quantities in nature, one must either extract the uranium from natural ore, or "breed" plutonium in a nuclear reactor. The German scientists decided to use plutonium, as the critical mass was smaller, and the bomb itself theoretically much easier to construct.
Unable to perfect a graphite-moderated reactor for plutonium production, they instead explored a heavy water based design (dideuterium oxide). This could have been used to do bomb research, and, ultimately, to breed plutonium from which a bomb could be constructed. At the time, Europe's major supply of heavy water came from the Norwegian Vemork hydroelectric plant, run by Norsk Hydro, near Rjukan in the Telemark region.
Between 1942 and 1944 a sequence of sabotage actions by the Norwegian resistance movement, as well as Allied bombing, ensured the destruction of the plant and the loss of the heavy water produced. These operations—codenamed Freshman, Grouse and Gunnerside—finally managed to knock the plant out of production in early 1943, basically ending the German research.
Operations Freshman and Grouse
The first attempt to destroy the plant was mounted by the Combined Operations command in November 1942. The plan consisted of two operations, the first would drop a number of Norwegian locals into the area as an advance force, and once in place a party of British engineers would be landed by glider to attack the plant itself.
On 19 October 1942, a four man team of Special Operations Executive (SOE) trained Norwegian partisans were parachuted into Norway. From their drop point in the wilderness they had to ski a long distance to the plant, so considerable time was given to complete this part of the mission, known as Operation Grouse.
On 19 November, Operation Freshman followed with the gliderborne landing onto a frozen lake near the plant. However the thirty-four Royal Engineers of the 1st British Airborne Division, together with the crews of two gliders and one bomber, died when their aircraft crashed into mountains during poor visibility. The Norwegians were unable to reach the crash site in time, and the survivors were executed by the Germans under Hitler’s Commando Order.
The Norwegian Grouse team thereafter had a long arduous wait in their mountain hideaway, subsisting virtually on moss and lichen during the winter until a reindeer was eventually found and shot just before Christmas.
Operation Gunnerside
British command was aware of the "success" of the Grouse team, and decided to build another operation in concert with them. In February 1943, an additional six Norwegian partisans were dropped into Norway in Operation Gunnerside. By this time the original Grouse team were being referred to as Swallow. They too were successful in landing, and found the Swallow team after a few days of searching. The combined team then made final preparations for their assault on the night of 27 February.
Following the Freshman attempt, mines, floodlights and additional guards were set around the plant. Whilst the mines and lights remained in place, security of the actual plant had slacked somewhat over the winter months. However, the single 75 metre bridge spanning the deep ravine which led to the plant, 200 metres above the River Maan, was well guarded.
The force elected to descend into the ravine, ford the river and climb the far side. The winter river level was very low and on the far side, where the ground levelled, they followed a single railway track straight into the plant without encountering any guards. Even before Grouse landed in Norway, SOE had a Norwegian agent within the plant who supplied detailed plans and schedule information. The demolition party used this information to enter the main basement by a cable tunnel and through a window. Other than keeping the night-watchman quiet, (and finding his glasses for him), no one interfered with their mission or immediate escape following what they described as a "dull thud". A British machine gun was purposely left to indicate this was a British raid and not local resistance, to try to prevent reprisals.
All ten made good their escape whereafter six skied 400 kilometres to Sweden while four remained in Norway for further work with the resistance. The plant was restored by April and SOE concluded a repeat raid would be extremely hard as German security was thereafter very considerable. In November the plant was attacked by a massed daylight bombing raid of 143 B-17 bombers dropping 711 bombs; the reason for the original ground assault a year earlier was that the available alternative of night bombing was considered unrealistic at that time.
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News Thursday, August 27, 2009 Press Release:
The Mayor of the Town of Carmel Valley, always considerate, wishes to directly explain his repeated refusals to reveal the salaries of Town employees, including himself, to the citizens he represents. The Mayor: "I don't want to upset you."
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News Thursday, August 27, 2009 Press Release:
The Mayor of the Town of Carmel Valley explains that the request for an ice cream cart in the Town of Carmel Valley has been denied once again. The Mayor: "Ice cream is a food and since there are already two grocery supermarkets in the Town, another food store would be unfair to the existing stores."
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News Thursday, August 27, 2009 Press Release:
The Mayor of the Town of Carmel Valley reveals the new Parking Plan (TM) is in effect. The Mayor: "All parking spaces in the Town of Carmel Valley are now designated Handicapped Parking spaces. The required Blue Handicapped Placards are currently on sale in the Town tax office. The fees generated by the sale of the placards will be used to offset the projected budget deficit and pay the salary of the newly hired parking enforcement officer. It's a win/win situation. In addition, plans are afoot to make Carmel Valley Road entirely a diamond lane requiring car pooling or motorcycles. We are proposing a new driving ban for certain types of vehicles on Carmel Valley Road and the local roads of the Town of Carmel Valley because of the extraordinary danger they represent to driving citizens and pedestrians. Because of the silence from the absence of engine noise and exhaust there is a danger of collision to unsuspecting citizens; therefore, all Prius, Insight and other all electric or hybrid vehicles are banned from the Town of Carmel Valley and Carmel Valley Road until add-on kits of fender mounted speakers are available to make those quiet and thus dangerous cars noticeable again. I am still adamently opposed to speed bumps along the road to keep speeds under 25 MPH."
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News Thursday, August 27, 2009 Press Release:
The Mayor of the Town of Carmel Valley states that discussions are currently underway to make the Town of Carmel Valley a gated Town based upon the success of the several local gated communities. The Mayor: "The current idea is to make the Town into a theme park to justify the high entry fees. The theme most favored is that of a castle with the entry points as drawbridges with guards dressed as medieval soldiers. Each drawbridge would be raised every night at 10 PM and lowered at 6 AM. Citizens would have a reduced bulk entry fee rate. The fees generated by the fees for entry would be used to offset the projected budget deficit as well as pay the salaries of the newly hired guards. It's a win/win situation."
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News Thursday, August 27, 2009 Press Release:
The Mayor of the Town of Carmel Valley wishes to reply to the many complaints about debris littering the streets and roads of the Town when the trash blows off the sanitation trucks owned and operated by the Waste Dispersal Management company: The Mayor: "Look, picking up a 32 gallon trash can and emptying it into the back of a truck for a lousy five bucks is hard work. Would you like to be handling plastic cans holding snotty tissues, empty wine bottles, and dead rats every morning of the week for a measly 75K a year? No, I didn't think so. Trash happens and I know Sammy and his boys at WDM are doing the best they can and we should appreciate that and help them out. In that regard, I have asked the nearby City of Carmel by-the-Sea School District elementary and middle schools to delay the start of classes every Wednesday until noon to allow the volunteer civic minded students to walk the roads and streets of our fair Town picking up the litter. We must all do our part to keep our Town clean and healthy, so watch out while driving every Wednesday mornings for stopped sanitation trucks parked on blind curves and for students picking up the trash."